God: The Author of Life Video

Even though I am struggling right now dealing with all that I've been through in the past few months I know that God is with me guiding me. I know that He understands all that I'm going through. God has a reason for everything. I have grown closer to God in my distress. God will help me as I continue on my daily journey. Here is a video that I thought I would pass on. Enjoy! 
God: The Author of Life from anberlin_fan on GodTube.

A Struggling Barren Wife

I must admit that since Wednesday morning I’ve been experiencing periods of sadness.  I’ve been crying on and off.  I know the surgery was the right thing to do.  I am not angry with anyone, especially not God. Because I do know that He is looking out for me.  Not that I didn’t know what the operation would do but the past few days it hit me like a ton of bricks that I no longer have my reproductive organs. The procedure is done and believe me I am thankful to God and all his angels because I am feeling so much better but it is so hard…. crying crying as I write this…. I am so sad.  I have been praying and asking God’s help through this tough time but…. I have just suffered a big loss and I just don’t know….

I called my doc yesterday because I thought something was wrong around one of my stitches.  He thought I could have gotten an infection so besides calling me in an antibiotic he wanted to see me to make sure the stitches were okay. This morning as I was waiting to see my doctor tears started rolling down my cheeks.  Just all of a sudden.  I was thinking geesh I sure have been a watering sprinkler lately with tears popping up when I least expect it.  He came in after I had stopped crying and gotten myself together but I ended up telling him that I had been crying anyway.  We talked about it.  He was so understanding. He said that I have a right to be sad and basically that if I wasn’t he would be wondering what’s wrong with me.  He said that he’s sad for me and that he would pray for me during the next week in between visits.  He said for me to continue to look to God for guidance during this time. He made me feel much better.  He is such a caring doctor.  Thankfully I don’t have an infection but the oddest thing happened. I have an allergic reaction to the band-aid and it blistered.  But what’s weird about it and we couldn’t figure out is why I don’t have allergic reactions around my other areas where stitches are. Different band-aid? Who knows?

After I came home I offered a prayer to God asking for his help to guide me through my struggles.  I also asked Him to lead me to the right spot in the Bible.  And yes so amazingly he did.  I opened to Psalm 113: 7-9 .

Psalm 113: 7-9 says:   He raises up the lowly from the dust;

from the dunghill he lifts up the poor

To seat them with princes,

with the princes of his own people.

He establishes in her home the barren wife

as the joyful mother of children.

My first response after seeing this was God is wonderful. God is watching out for me. I know that and have known that for a long time but I have been so emotional these past few days and crying, crying, crying (and I’m not even a crier) that I hadn’t really turned to Him and asked Him for assistance til today.  God has brought peace to me. Now I feel so much better sharing my struggles with the Lord and all my blogging buddies. God Bless.

 Crossposted @ Catholibertarian 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart…”

Do you ever find it hard to trust in the Lord? Whether it be in your everyday struggles, dealing with a health issue, a career or vocational challenge, or the loss of employment?

While I have never been angry at God over my health issues I do find it hard to trust Him sometimes, especially when I feel like I am battling sickness often.  Last October after I had surgery for my endometriosis I had mega health troubles afterward.  I can deal with pain very well.  I have a high threshold for pain but this was different.  I was extremely dizzy and it hurt me to breathe, plus something else but I won't give the details and gross people out.  It was kinda weird since that symptom has disappeared altogether now.  I came to find out that I had a vitamin B12 deficiency which was causing my dizziness.  I also found out that mild acid reflux plus the agitation of the tube from having been down in my throat during surgery was what had caused me to hurt while breathing.  While I may have asked why?  I asked why is this happening to me?  I never got angry at God for my having health troubles.  While I had some issues with trusting the Lord at first I came to trust Him and know that he had a plan for me.  I came to trust him with all my heart.

I have been feeling ill since last Friday. Today I visited my doctor and well, I wasn't expecting to need further testing.  Not a huge deal but my doc wants to make sure that there isn't something with my ovaries causing my fever or pain. God has a plan for each of us. I know he has a plan for me even though I wonder what that could be.  Or what He has in store for me in the future.  All we need to do is trust in Him. Trusting in the Lord can be very hard at times. I know.  With prayer and trusting in the Lord anything is possible and we will be able to overcome any obstacle that is put in out path.  When we trust in God we can overcome our fears and struggles in our lives.  God is our strength. God is our hope. God gives us the grace to do what we should do in our struggles.  God gives us strength when we are weak. God is the Great Healer.  God is Love.

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.





Crossposted @ Catholibertarian 

Struggles, Piety, and The Church

What is causing the decline in church attendance while a majority of people say they believe in God? Father Ronald Rolheiser O.M.I. hypothesizes on this by saying "declining church attendance is paralleled everywhere:families and neighborhoods are dissipating and breaking down as people guard their privacy and individuality more and more. No wonder that our churches are struggling."

I definitely agree that privacy is one reason for the decline in church attendance. Individuality could be part of the reason, too. Most folks generations ago used to go to church for guidance. Do secular activities fill that vacuum today? Are people looking for guidance in the wrong places? Could part of the reason for the decrease in church attendance and the fact that it is so arduous for some people to come together in Church be that our society is so culturally divided in belief of values and worldviews today?

Has the Church ceded its influence over peoples' lives as it has become more indebted to the government? How often do you hear a sermon on abortion, contraception, sin and hell, or any of the tough or controversial issues from your parish priest today? Are priests worried about offending those who donate money? There are plenty of people who are yearning for a hard-hitting sermon and feel empty inside that may fill that monetary void if priests would just have more faith and teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. With the priest sex abuse scandal and other issues involving the Church could it be that some people see the Church as having lost it's way and not leading by example, like it used to?

Some may see the Church as flawed but the Church that Christ founded is perfectly and wonderfully made. It is the fallen people within the Church who are fallible. Here is a most apropos ode to the Church from Carlo Carretto:

"How much I must criticize you, my church, and yet how much I love you! You have made me suffer more than anyone and yet I owe more to you than to anyone. I should like to see you destroyed and yet I need your presence. You have given me much scandal and yet you alone have made me understand holiness. Never in this world have I seen anything more compromised, more false, yet never have I touched anything more pure, more generous or more beautiful. Countless times I have felt like slamming the door of my soul in your face - and yet, every night, I have prayed that I might die in your sure arms! No, I cannot be free of you, for I am one with you, even if not completely you. Then too - where would I go? To build another church? But I could not build one without the same defects, for they are my defects. And again, if I were to build another church, it would be my church, not Christ's church. No, I am old enough, I know better."

Struggling but offering it up to God

Ever since my surgery it seems like I have had one medical issue pop up or another.  For the past week or so I have had trouble breathing, felt dizzy and today I felt even dizzier than before.  I was blessed to see my doctor today.  I am so blessed to have a doctor who cares so much about me.  He gave me orders to rest.  This means no work, which means less money coming into the household.  But, I know God will help provide for us.

Here is a prayer to offer up our sufferings.


Dear Lord,
Help me to remember in these troubled times
The cross you carried for my sake,
So that I may better carry mine
And to help others do the same,
As I offer up (whatever your concern or problem here) to you
For the conversion of sinners
For the forgiveness of sins
In reparation for sins
And for the salvation of souls. Amen

Pope Benedict says we must trust the Lord Completely; But sometimes trusting God can be tough

As Pope Benedict reflected on the Sunday Gospel he stated: 


“It is an incident whose great significance the Fathers of the Church understood. The sea symbolises today’s life and the instability of the visible world. The storm indicates the many troubles that oppress man. The boat, instead, represents the Church built on Christ and led by the Apostles. Jesus wants to educate the disciples to bear with courage the adversities of life, placing their trust in God, the One who revealed himself to the prophet Elijah on Mount Horeb in “a tiny whispering sound” (1 Kings, 19:12).


The Pope also relayed to his audience this: “before we seek or invoke him, the Lord himself comes to us, lowering the Heavens to hold out a hand and raise us up to his height”. “He only waits for us to trust him completely. Let us call on the Virgin Mary, a model of complete trust in God, that amid so many concerns, problems and difficulties that trouble the sea of our life, our hearts may heed the reassuring word of Jesus, ‘Have courage! It is me; fear not!’, so that our faith in Him may grow.” 


I fully agree with Pope Benedict.  I would just say that trusting in the Lord can be extremely tough to do when going through life's struggles.  Here are some thoughts of mine.  I have to admit that it was much easier for me to trust in the Lord while growing up during my childhood and up through high school.  I had to deal with many struggles while growing up: challenges due to my being blind in one eye, my sisters had a lot of issues and caused complete chaos in my family, while attending Grade school I was more than just teased (taunted?) because of my being blind in one eye and this made my self-esteem plummet but I always knew that there was one person who I could count on to listen to me, God.  I trusted the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul.  


Sadly, I have to say that it is different for me Today.  I go back and forth between being able to trust the Lord completely with all my heart, mind, and soul in some instances while at other times I struggle with trusting our Lord.  For instance I have trouble with endometriosis which is a disease which causes extreme pain and infertility among women.  I've always trusted that the Lord would watch out for me while going through all of my surgeries and other treatments but when it comes to going through the issues due to infertility I find it very hard to trust the Lord.  I am married and so far my husband and I haven't been blessed with a Little One and sometimes I get really down in the dumps about that.  Plus, its so expensive to adopt and my husband and I aren't that well-off financially.  I try to trust in the Lord but it is so hard in this case.  I can remember my doctor years ago saying to me that I would make a great mom and yet I wonder why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I wonder what is God's plan for me? My husband and I? Is it to adopt? Are my husband and I meant to conceive and have a child?  I know that God has a plan for my husband and I but I just don't understand what it could be and that is so frustrating for me.  I am enormously grateful to God for saving my life when I went through an unimaginably horrible situation - you can read my Divine Providence Story here . But ever since I went through that horrible, traumatic incident I have not trusted the Lord like I used to.  Right now I take one day at a time and have been rebuilding (or trying to) my trust in him. 


Have a blessed day!